What's in a name?

I think the person who described the animal that is advertising was best described by George Carlin. Had a very large, mature audience spiel in which he would talk about verbiage and such big corporations use to get our attention, stoke our desires, and ultimately rob us of our money in the never ending pursuit to have the newest, latest-greatest gizmo. But the thing that really bugs me, I wanna know who is in charge of naming these products?

How many of you can remember the flack Apple got over the name for their electronic portable tablet, iPad, when it was first announced? To this day pictures show up in random internet feeds displaying word play on the product name.

Today, as I was shopping at Food City, the closest thing we have to a true grocery food chain store, I was browsing near the mexican food aisle when my eyes came across a can. At first I thought I read the label wrong, so, I looked again. Nope, I got it right the first time.

I would like to know W-H-O came up with this name let alone the picture of what appears to be shredded flesh! I was left shocked and appalled because the first image that popped into my mind was of person named "Dick", namely, Richard Nixon. The whole product presentation resonated with me as promoting cannibalism. Yikes! (Turns out it's a dessert popular in the UK)

Aside from food, the manufacturers of women's products are typically as bad. Summer's Eve while designed to provide additional female cleansing the name alludes to the feeling of using this product will be warm and pleasant like a summer's evening. This could be further from the truth. It's more like Iceland in the worst ice storm in history. Nothing pleasant about it.

Always touts the ability of the product to provide protection for all areas of the wearer at all times. It especially highlights the "wings" which are responsible for this added security. What they fail to mention in any of their ads is that these items are not recommended for wearing during sleep, particularly if you are a restless sleeper. See those lovely little wings, which work magically during the day, at night tend to disengage from the assigned area and migrate up into the female neither regions. This typically isn't noticed until the woman wakes to go to the bathroom and has to, usually while still in some part of REM sleep, perform a Brazilian bikini wax on herself before she may use the toilet. This little nugget of info might be something the company may wish to make the consumer aware of with regards to those who suffer from bladder control issues.

There is a product used in hospitals to prepare patients for GI procedures, particularly colonoscopies; it is called Go-Lytely. I believe Jeff Foxworthy mentioned coming in contact with this substance and was left with the distinct impression the given name for the item is very misleading. There is nothing "lightly" about it. By the time the patient has finished the allotted dose, he is usually perched on a toilet, with his thigh muscles locked in the evacuation position while his hands grip the side of the seat as the contents which have occupied his body for the last week are violently emptied via his colon. I have yet to have anyone ever claim to not feel that he wasn't completely evacuated if he completed the dose, some women are even thrilled to have lost that final 5-10 pounds of "water weight".

These are just a few things I thought about after I laughed myself silly while I finished grocery shopping. But seriously, it would be nice if advertisers named a product a truthful name.