Why is the rum gone?

I believe Jack Sparrow was right to be irritated that the pesky Elizabeth Swann had used all the rum hidden on the island to build a fire to attract a ship to rescue them. Elizabeth, obviously, did NOT understand the important function rum has.

For instance, in a pinch, should one need to do emergency surgery, one may ply the patient with a lovely mix of Barcardi 151, approximately half a pint, and within 10 minutes the patient could care less about what kind of procedure you were about to perform on him within the privacy of, oh, I don't know, say, one's backyard?!

Rum's thought shifting properties are also highly overlooked. Why just a couple of shots of 151 and I promise you can dance W-A-Y better than those over paid individuals on "Dancing with the Stars"! In my own experience, I discovered I am much more accurate when playing 'Dance, Dance Revolution' on the Wii, if I have, in fact, had just a smidgin of rum. The only problem seems to be that pesky mat that has a way of moving around on me, but as long as it holds steady its position, things are A-OK!!

Barcardi also seems to hold the corner market when it comes to being able to tolerate people one would most likely deem unbearable. There is one particular individual who believes that he is the authority on everything (and NO, it's not me). He will argue and explain numerous times why he is, in fact, the expert on whatever subject that is being discussed despite the fact the person who he maybe debating actually holds a PhD and has won a Nobel Prize for his work in a particular area. It has been documented time and again, Rum, in moderate sips while in the presence of one of these annoying individuals will make the listener less likely to be arrested for a domestic episode.

The  only drawback I have found is that Barcardi has not figured out a way to make their product available in Jelly Belly Jellybeans. If that day ever comes, then Ms. Pippi may set sail for the high seas.

This has been an advertisement by Pippi. The previous post has no affiliation with the Barcardi Rum manufacturers and the reviewer, Pippi, was not compensated for her time or testimony. We here at Barcardi believe in honesty in advertising unlike the government which prefers just to scan everyone's internet and phone records to find out their preferences for alcoholic beverages.